Sandy : I wish I could tell you I'm sorry, but I'm not.
Kirsten : Okay, worst apology ever.
 

Kirsten : Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend.
Sandy : Okay.  Oh, wait, we can't.
Kirsten : Why not?
Sandy: I'm still Jewish.
 

Caleb : You're still smoking the weed, aren't you?
Seth : Dad, you smoked weed?
Kirsten : Out.This is a private conversation.
Seth : Ryan, guess who's a stoner!
 

Seth : It's fate, it's destiny! We both like burritos!
 

Summer : Now, aren't you going to invite me to your grandpa's party?
Seth : I'm sorry, Summer, could you please repeat that?
 

Seth : You hooked up with my grandma?!  Actually, that's kind of hot.  How was it?
 
 

Summer: Hey, don't you wanna introduce me to more people?
Seth: No. Because I know the only reason you came as my date is so I can introduce you to guys who just stare at your chest.
Summer: Who was staring at my chest?
Seth: And they don't know anything about you, they don't know that in third grade, everyday you shared your lunch with this little squirrel, who's lunch kept getting stolen by a fat squirrel.
Summer (sweet): I hated that fat squirrel.
Seth: And they don't know about how your hand shook when you had to read that poem aloud in class.
Summer: What poem?
Seth: I Want To Be A Mermaid
Summer: That was like, in sixth grade, I barely remember that.
Seth: I want to be a mermaid, to swim along the sea, and I want all the fish...
Summer kisses him on the lips.
Seth (stunned): ...to come and play with me.
 
 

Summer (trying to pick out a dress to Caleb's Bash): Is this to slutty to wear to an olg guy's birthday party? I don't want the dude to have a coronary?
 

Seth (talking about Gabrielle): Is it twisted to find my potential grandma really hot?