QUOTES
Episode 2.03 - The New Kids On The Block

 

Seth: Damn Oregonian barbers, man! Making my head too small for my boby.

Seth: How do you work with this miror?
Ryan: Grand-pa... front page... jail...?
Seth: Yeah! No, I know. I was in that photo, I got cut out though.

Seth: I’m like a monster! I’m all I think about, and not in the good way!
Ryan: There’s a good way?

Seth: Ryan, could you quit freating over your nerd gear for like five seconds? We’ve a real crisis on our hands— unless summer’s wrong, and I’m not completely insufferable. (Ryan gives him the look) Why didn’t you just tell me then?!
Ryan: It’s hard getting a word in! I mean you’re a good talker but you’re not so good at listeni— (seth interrupts him)

Seth: I have to be like a better person.
Ryan: Better how?
Seth: Less selfish. More selfless, let’s take more give. Less pitching, more catching.

Seth: Dude, I don't even want summer back. Unless... it's what she wants. In which case that's not about me. That's about me supporting her and her wanting of-of... if that's what she wants then OK.

Sandy: Ah, you can thank me later.
Caleb: Thank you? For letting me spend the night in jail? It was the most vile, most inhuman night of my life!
Sandy: Well, coming from the guy who married Julie Cooper, that’s saying something.

Lindsay: Excuse me? I’m new. Is it alright to park here?
Girl: Sure, if you’re not embarassed!

Seth: I may be selfless but still pretty stingy!

Seth (about Summer): So maybe I’ll buy her and Zach tickets to the show.
Ryan: Why would you do that?
Seth: Out of friendship, to show how selfless I can be...
Ryan: .. and to get her back!
Seth: I can’t hear you.

Lindsay: I have to get a rhinoplasty, but now I'll look just like the other girls here.

Julie (to Caleb) : I know I haven’t been there for you sweetie, but you haven’t been exactly honest with me.
Kirsten: We’re gonna...
Sandy: Oh, it was just getting good!

Marissa: So then you’re not over Seth..
Summer: Oh I am! I’ve divested myself of all Seth’s material possessions. I’m vibrating, coop, at an extremely cohenless frequency!
Marissa: Ok, so then you don’t really like Zach..
Summer: No! I mean yes.. I don’t– Ew! I— Shut up

Lindsay: It was four accidents! Six, if you count each individual tampons.

Seth: What? The only music they had in Chino was the sound of gunshots and helicopters?

Alex: OK, I’m Alex! You can start right now! If I don’t firing you by the end of tonight, you come back tomorrow!

Seth: I have a mop Ryan!
Ryan: You got a mop, bro!

Ryan: Now you’re talking about yourself at like the fourth person.
Seth: It’s a whole new dimension of selflessness, Ryan. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to the urinals

Sandy: My son doing manual labour work! I'd never thought I'd live to see the day!

Seth: Hey, mom. Check out this ironic twist of events. Ryan is now a science nerd, I'm working a blue collar job!

Julie: I want you to believe me when I say Caleb is not going to jail.
Marissa: Oh well that’s a shame! ‘Cause if Caleb did go to jail, then you’d be out on the street and I’d can be back to living with dad.

Alex: What are you, like a huge fan?
Seth: Yeah, certain. Particularly brunette named after my least favorite season.
Alex: You’re doing this for a girl?
Seth: Well, to be clear I’m actually getting tickets for her and her boyfr- her boyfri- her friend that’s a boy.

Summer: Cohen! How did you get in here?
Seth: Your Stepmom.. who’s in a unsually good spirit.
Summer: It’s the medicine.
Seth: That explains the eye twitch.

Julie: I don’t know how this is happenning again..
Jimmy: Maybe because you keep marrying for money?

Ryan: Any Summer sightings?
Seth: No, not yet. What if she doesn’t show? What if after all this she never knows the blood and sweat and other people’s pee that went into getting her those tickets because Zach took her to like an incubus concert?

Marissa: I’m here for Team Summer.
Ryan: I’m here for Team Seth

Sandy: I suggest you find a way to make it up to Kirsten. Now! Unless you want Julie to be your lawyer too.

Alex: Hey! Some guy just pucked all over an amplifire and—
Seth: I’m on it!
Summer: Why was that tatoo girl telling you about vomit?

Seth (to Ryan) : Dude, the only thing holding my head up is my lungs.

Seth: I handled that Summer situation so wrong! I just- I really shouldn’t have returned her phone calls.
Ryan: She never called you.
Seth: And I should have dated other girls...
Ryan: What other girls?
Seth: Maybe if I played her hot and cold, right, messed with her mind a little bit, then I don’t know, I think it potentially could have worked.

Seth: Please, dude, I just need to talk about me for like several more hours, at least.
Ryan: I thought you didn’t do that anymore.
Seth: No, that was the new Seth Cohen. I’m back Ryan.

Caleb: She’s my daughter Sandy. I don’t need to be supervised.
Sandy: I’m supervising her. I’m afraid she might kill you.

Seth (to Marissa) : If someone would have told me last year that you and I would be the two loneliest people in Newport, I wouldn't have believed him... Well, at least not the ‘you' part.